May 17th 2017 | Team Discovers Previously Unknown Player On Facebook

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A division 1 team today discovered an entirely unknown player on the team’s player facebook group.

“We were astonished” said chairman Garth Babineaux. “We thought it must be some guy having a laugh, but on further investigation, it turned out he actually did play for us.”

Jake Oakhill, apparently a cornerback, has a 95% training attendance rate, and told Daily Britball he had been present at all four of his teams games so far, but that “nobody really speaks to [him]”.

Carl Foster, a fellow defensive back said “I definitely didn’t know anybody called Jake, but Garth pointed him out on Facebook, and what do you know, there he is, profile picture in the full kit and everything.”

Unfortunately, Babineaux confirmed, that as he is wearing a helmet in his profile picture, nobody is actually sure what Oakhill looks like.

May 5th 2017 | Filton Pride Players Send Facebook Friend Requests To Whole Of UK

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The last remaining person without a friend request from a Filton Pride player was today added by a 17 year old defensive back, meaning that everybody in the UK now has at least one player on their friend list.

Jason Boddy-Briggs, a safety who studies at the facility designed to militarise children for an as yet unknown purpose, took his total friends list up to 480,000 people. Boddy-Briggs confirmed that means he’s “just behind Kie and Shaun” who have got over 7 million friends each.

Carl Finger-Bown told Daily Britball he had personally been added by three Pride players so far.

“I literally attended one taster session for Clyde Valley in 2013. Nobody on my friends list plays American Football. I don’t know how they found me.” Finger-Bown said.

Projections show that every Facebook user in the world will see a message about how Filton players either “respect the grind” or “take no days off” by 2021 at the latest.

Mar 28th 2017 | Today’s Post Unfortunately Cancelled Due To Player Safety

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