Breaking | West Coast Trojans push out press release at 1am to once more shift the blame away from Gary McNey’s mismanagement.

Jackson Spunkitt, Special Reporter for Daily Britball: “It seems odd that Baggy was so concerned about player safety, when he had no problem throwing them under the bus when it came to reasons for their forfeit.”

Image may contain: one or more people and text

Special Report | Today we take a look at the West Coast Trojans cancellation, and the official statement from B̶a̶g̶g̶y̶, the Official Facebook page of the West Coast Trojans.

Image may contain: one or more people and suit

Image may contain: text

We ran the statement through a bullshit detector and saw what came out the other side.

So, what next? Are you and your team sick of teams cancelling fixtures at the last minute with no repercussions? Simply dropping to associate for a year, playing a couple of running clock games against the High Hunsley Herons or the Bishop Wilton Bashers, and waltzing back into the league next year, clearly doesn’t fix the issue.

Want a solution? Try sending Martin Cockerill (British American Football Association Chair) or Russ Hewitt (British American Football Association Director of Competitions) a message. Their lack of action taken towards the individuals who consistently undermine the league they claim to love is at this point sickening.

An important message to the West Coast Trojans players: Our problem is not with you. Our problem is with the consistently poor judgement shown by Gary McNey. Don’t allow him to turn this into “us vs them”. It’s not because of Daily Britball, UK Gridiron Memes or Double Coverage that you missed out on football that you have paid for yesterday. We take no joy from your situation. Once again, the league is hurt by Gary McNey. Not only did his actions take an opportunity that you won’t get again away from you, the statements issued by him made your club a laughing stock. Nobody, least of all you, gains anything from this situation.

2017 Britball Roundup | Week 5

Image may contain: one or more people, people playing sport, american football and outdoor

Well, did this week of Britball live up to its dramatic start? Let’s look at the stories around the league.

– West Coast Trojans HC Gary McNey is either a fucking liar, or a leader with historically bad levels of incompetence. Anyone defending him at this point is lying to themselves. Our comiserations to the Manchester Titans and West Coast players expecting a game today.
– Leicester lost. So there’s that.
– Associate team win! The Worcester Black Knights put one on the Torbay Trojans. Don’t expect a write up from the Trojans.
– Here are the teams you thought were good, but are actually shit this week: Bury Saints, Portsmouth Dreadnoughts, Ouse Valley Eagles, Newcastle Vikings.
– Our game of the week? Nottingham Caesars 13-6 Coventry Jets.

This is a tough one. Baggy at the heart of drama, games cancelled… even with an associate team winning, we give this a stunning 5 Russ Hewitts out of 5.

Breaking | Oh dear. According to a concerned reader, we’re hearing that everybody’s favourite team north of the border, the West Coast Trojans, are just about ready to pull out of tomorrow’s defeat to the Manchester Titans due to a lack of players. In week 5. In their 2nd game.

Image may contain: one or more people, people playing sport and outdoor

Our deepest condolences to those guys about to miss out on football in Britain once again.

Update: It’s on! Don’t worry, those who had money on West Coast will now have until 5p.m. tomorrow to realise they’ve lost their money.

Predictions | 2017 Adult Division One

Image may contain: 1 person, playing a sport, american football and outdoor

North North North North North North | We actually predicted that Yorkshire would win this by virtue of having the best empty stadium in the division, but then we realised Baggy would just act like the Trojans won on their 2018 recruiting flyers anyway, so we just gave it to them.

We’ll Start Our Own Team With Blackjack And Hookers Conference | This Prediction Sponsored By Kersey’s The Carington Arms Pub In Leicestershire.

The Falcons go undefeated. In fact, they don’t even give up a single point. And they don’t pay players at all. And AJ Mepstead is a great bloke. The Birmingham Bulls wake up one day to find that literally everything, down to the very blades of grass at their home ground have been picked clean by their local rivals. Twenty four new associate teams are created in the region.

SFC 1 Central | Literally nobody cared about this division enough to write anything.

Neil Reynolds Memorial Division | The London Olympians get off to a dodgy start, and the Exiles look to be running away, until Cyrus Lassus turns up, having worked in the off-season with his pal Peyton Manning, and leads the Olympians to a division title, throwing 85 TDs and just 1 INT (which he threw on purpose) along the way.

4th Mar 2017 | Scottish Parents Scare Children With Tales Of The Baggyman

Image may contain: text

Parents in Paisley and the surrounding areas keep their “bairns” in line with stories of a loud, violent ogre called the “baggyman”.

“If the kids aren’t back before sundown, we tell them that the baggyman will come and batter their dad” said Karen McConnell.

Legend says that the baggyman feeds on the bones of children and any division two teams, but it is believed he can be defeated by making him play in division one or higher.

“We know he’s not real, but the kids don’t. If they don’t eat their carrots, we just tell them the baggyman will take them and make them play for the Trojans.” said McConnell.