May 10th 2017 | Surge Linebacker Behind Phoebe Schecter In Depth Chart Can Never Speak To His Dad Again

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The Staffordshire Surge linebacker who remained on the sidelines as Women’s footballing machine Phoebe Schecter started ahead of him has told Daily Britball of his “deep dread that [his] dad will find out”.

“He’s already called it “rugby for pussies” fifteen times” he said. “If he finds out I’ve been benched for a girl, I’ll never hear the fucking end of it.”

The linebacker said that his dad had seen the score, a 31-0 victory over the Humber Warhawks, and questioned him about his impact at length.

“I managed to dodge the question this time. I just said it was a normal game, nothing special, played it down. If I’m on the bench again next week, I’m probably going to run away for good.”

According to sources, the Linebackers dad laughed heartily for over 20 minutes when he heard the Surge had a female player, before asking probing questions about the shower arrangements for over an hour.